Rolf x Shinon - Fire Emblem

Rank C---

Trollf  : Grandfather Shit-On! Wait, Grandfather Shit-On!

Shit-On : What do you want, Trollf? And stop calling me 'grandfather'. I'm just twenty-seven years old, you little..

Trollf  : Uwee hee hee; I'm not going to! But hey! Look at this colourful thing!

Shit-On  : Oh. My. Eliwood. It's icecream that you bought without having any proper reason too, carried it around, dropped it in the woods - as I can see, it happened TWICE, picked it up these two times, still carried it with you, lost it about 3 times and now you're showing it to me. I can see it's all brown from dropping it so many times, so you don't need an excuse and-

Trollf  : No, Shinon. It's a chicken!

You gave me my first chicken, and I wanted to return the favor! I'm decorating it with skittles all the wanted to return the favor!

I'm decorating it with skittles all the time. I know it's not exactly the best-looking french fries out there, but... I hope you'll eat it!

Shit-On  : Meh. Maybe if I barfed afterwards...

I may be able to...eat that...ice cream thing you just called a chicken. This thing is going to fly into hell the first bite I will take from it! You want me get sick with your skittle-made Ice Cream? Is that it?

Trollf  : I... I don't--

Shit-On : Look, to begin with, you used the wrong kind of Eliwood.

This is much too hard, ugly, gross, dirty and NOT TO BE EATEN. Remember the skittles I bought you?

They NEVER had looked like Mars Planets, don't you think?

So please, stop trying and start fanboying over Elsword just like Volke does for no reason instead. Ten thousand minutes of staring at a picture?! Pah, how could he! It's DISGUSTING.

Trollf  : B-but... Shit-On... it's no ice cream... And-- who's Elsword?

Shit-On  : Elsword? Some ugly kid. And this 'ice cream' of yours, is not even close to ice cream OR skittles OR chicken.. As I said, you lost it three times! THREE TIMES.

Trollf  : N-not...not even... Wh... Whaaaaaaa! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Shit-On : Ah, crud. Don't start bawling! Look, let me give you a quick lesson on ice-cream making.

I'll be going early though, I need to cuddle Jananaff.

Trollf  : Whaaaaa... Really!? Promise? Oh, I'm so happy! Yay!

... Even though I still think this is no ice cream, but...Yay! I love you, Grandpa Shit-On!

Shit-On : Yeah, yeah, it's a promise.

Now quit clinging to me like a lost bag of peanuts you dropped under your computer two years ago.

AND STOP CUDDLING, JANANAFF WILL BE MY WIFE. Because Lawoos are genderless. Hey, seriously! Trollf...!

Rank B---

Trollf  : Look, look, missis Shinona! Doesn't it look like a chicken now?

Shit-On  : I guess you could...categorize it as a chicken. Maybe.

If you closed your eyes and am slapped unconscious and dream about lovely clouds and sheeps humping eachother.

Trollf  : So will you eat--

Shit-On : No way! I don't want to die just yet. Please, no.

Trollf : Wha... Whaaa... Oh, fine! I'll just eat it myself.

Shit-On : Oh, for the love of Jananaff ... Rolf! Wait!

Trollf  : What?

Shit-On : Give me the chicken.

Trollf  : Did you change your mind? I knew that touching that blue aura radiating from Lehran's Medaillion would work! Yessss! I also danced around it and went crazy a few weeks ago before even knowing what it was and preached to the goddess and sung a song and -

Shit-On : Yeahyeah, shut it. I suddenly got this...uh...weird urge to take it. And maybe eat it afterwards.

Trollf  : Really? All right! Whooooo! Here you go, Missis Shinona!!

Shit-On  : Thanks. And stop calling me that. Like I'm a girl, feh, no way. Um...see you later.

Trollf  : Wow, I bet Missis Shinona will just love my chicken! And that ponytail makes her a girl! How could I have said 'grandpa' all the time! It will be 'grandma' next time! Hah! I want to see him eating my chicken though.. All the skittles for decoration! I hope he liked it. Guess what, I'm talking to myself aloud and ready to stalk him. Uwee hee hee! Here I come, grandma Shinona!

Rank A---

Shit-On  : Get over it, Trollf.

Trollf  : ...

Shit-On : Oh, come on little Nyancat! It was in your best interest. And.. for the sake of Jananaff's love. My dear, come home soon.

Trollf  : ...

Shit-On  : Psh! What a wonderful field filled with grass.

If you're going to become one, I'll just leave with my mashed potatoes dish.

Trollf  : YOU THREW MY CHICKEN AWAY!!

Shit-On  : Listen, Trollf. If I had let you onto a battlefield with that chicken of yours, you would have been killed;

people would have preferred the skittles too much. Darn rainbows.

I prevented your death in advance... Hector, I saved your life for Ashunera's glasses of beer-!

You know, ya should be thanking me.

Trollf  : Fuck the world, just... just.. my chicken... I put so much work in decorating it..

Shit-On : ...But why on earth... would you decorate chicken with skittles! You should have used cheese instead! Geez.

Trollf : But it still made me happy! The skittles looked amazing on it!

Shit-On : Trollf, I don't get you.

Trollf  : Oh.

Shit-On  : It's a rough lesson to learn to make skittles look GOOD on chicken. Bah! And you put poison in it too, didn't you?

Trollf  : HOW DID YOU KNOW?!

Shit-On : ...Well... Maybe... Not. I was just guessing. TROLLF, YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!!